Joan Laporta exclusive

Sources close to this blog can exclusively reveal that Joan Laporta's wife has some very harsh things to say about her husband. His wife started off with some very blunt words about the size of Joan's maggot sized manhood:"It is very small, when I first unveiled his little fella I had to first clear the small forest of hair before I could see the true extent of Joan's weener, then again he does

Cesc bottom line: still a Gooner

I got a fair amount of abuse for my recent piece slagging off the media for the rumours on Cesc's future, some people seemed to think that Cesc going to Barca was a done deal. It appears that Cesc is still an Arsenal player and that Barca will definitely not be signing Cesc on the cheap. Recent comments from Cesc show him to be showing a hell of a of class:“I will only say one thing, I have great

Cesc nonsense and crying wolf

It's a bit like the boy who cried wolf, the rumour mongers and gossip lovers will often turn out to get it right every now and again, however when one looks at their overall accuracy and hit rate one should appreciate it is a bit like striking oil by drilling at random, the Cesc rumours circulating at the moment are part of this same old story. Likewise I will sometimes turn out to be wrong when

Wenger a 'deluded dictator'

The title of this piece is not my opinion, they are the words of a well known self anointed 'Arsenal expert' who shall remain nameless. I will not link to his site as he does not deserve the publicity, and I am sure many of you will know exactly who I am talking about. Here are some of his most recent gems of footballing wisdom:"Wenger no longer deserves to have Fabregas playing for him. Fabregas

Lampard dives and Chelsea prove winning isn't everything

Chelsea have won the double and credit where credit is due, they have deserved it. Firstly their manager is a good chap and deserves a lot of credit for the way he has gone about his business this season, it has been quite out of character for Chelsea FC. Secondly in pure footballing terms they have been the best team in the country, they are hard to break down and have some top class attacking

Gallas concerns and the not concerned

It has been long known that William Gallas is a bit of an odd one, it has also been well documented that he has had serious problems getting on with some of his team mates, Samir Nasri's comments from the Sun add fuel to this fire:"I don't communicate with him, but I'm not the only one at Arsenal who doesn't have any communication with him. We are four or five, but that doesn't stop us fighting

The talks is there, now for some action, and well done Fulham FC

It's hard to disagree with Arsene's recent thoughts on the season gone:"If you divide the season into two – going forward we have done very well but defensively we have been average....When you concede 40 goals you don't win the championship and I want to rectify that. My transfer policy this summer will be to keep our strengths going forward, add one player, and add more defensive strength to

Aren't Spuds fans bitter?

In response to this rather low brow piece of writing from a Spud, I thought the obvious question should be asked. This is because in all my years as a Gooner I have never really noticed Arsenal fans being bitter towards Spurs, it has been far more the other way around.In fact I would hold very little against Tottenham if their fans were modest and they had some vaguely realistic expectations at

End of season feel

The game never felt like a proper competitive match, with Fulham awaiting the UEFA cup final and our title hopes long gone, the only thing to play for was finishing above Harry Redknapp's incredibly over hyped and rated Spuds eleven, even they couldn't push it to the wire losing a two goal lead hilariously against Burnley.Fulham were never really in the game, despite Fabianski's woeful efforts to

Fulham points importance and Redknapp nonsense

As Arseblogger notes this morning, at last Arsene is acknowledging the problems we have defensively as a team, this has been the reason for us falling short this season. Certain players look like they are going, such as Gallas and Silvestre, others have a lot to prove and a lot of fans will feel they should also be moving on. On this list of players who should be worried I'd have Fabianski,

Deflated and defeated by dishonest tactics

I think I'm feeling like a lot of Gooners today, I have just lost the energy to get angry about another disappointing defeat. The Holic sums things up nicely and I can't disagree with a word he says.The game summed up just what we lack to the title this year, even Arsene admitted that we lacked the sharpness in the fight and that's a worrying admission. Atkinson was appalling, he completely

Injuries, Blackburn and non commitment

Just looking at our injury list it does strike home just how many players we have been missing at times this year, it's quite incredible really. We've so rarely had a run of playing anything like our first team that it has made things tricky, I do hope that we are very careful to avoid buying any injury prone players in the future though, this would be suicidal.Blackburn will not make life easy

'Midfield has not been the problem'?

These are the Arsene's words and I feel that I am not alone in finding these quotes more than a little worrying:"I believe the midfield was not a problem this year because we created so many chances from midfield and we dominated nearly all the games in midfield. I don’t think we had a big problem in there. I believe we had a problem of efficiency defensively."One can't disagree that we have had

We could do worse than Hangeland

Watching Roy Hodgson's magnificent Fulham side dispose of Hamburg on Thursday night, I took a brief peek at Brede Hangeland and he did not disappoint. In all honesty I have not seen enough of him to give a definitive judgement, but there is no doubt that he does possess some of the ingredients that we lack at the back.He leads the team, he talks, he is commanding in the air and he dominates.